5.5 band in task 2 다시 쓰기

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

 

Some people think that developed countries should fund international aid to poor countries to help developing countries improve domestic health, education and trade. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

 

Write at least 250 words.

Some maintain that affluent nations should fund international aid to help developing countries in education, domestic health and even trade. I believe that this activities should be encouraged and reintroduced to many developed countries. This essay will present why international aid are necessary to poorer nations.

Firstly, affluent nations should fund international aid to help developing nations, especially domestic health and education. Because the poorer nations cause constant epidemic disease to spread across the globe. With this, developed nations should donate to the nations in order to decrease the rate of taking place the ailments in developing countries, this would prevent prevailing of the diseases from poorer nations. In addition, developing countries should be given aid of education from developed nations. Since some people in developing countries could also become doctors to help treat their citizens in the future. The two part of donation would greatly contribute the improvement of developing countries.

Secondly, developed nations should donate for the trade of poorer nations that the countries can stand alone on international markets, in order to have the capability to compete in the markets. For example, it is possible to make a lot of profits by providing low wage manpower if wealthier nations donated in terms of starting the business in poorer nations. This several business will feed the people in developing nations and eventually, developing countries will become one of affluent nations like South Korea. Therefore, international aid regarding trade in developing countries must be aware of necessary to wealthier countries.

To conclude, although it is not likely easy to fund international aid for affluent nations, developed nations should donate this aid to live well together in the world. Because we live in small world which name is the Earth. Once again, I think that international aid is utterly necessary to our neighbors.



- 일단 생각이 정리가 안되있어서 그런지.. 시간이 꾀 걸린다. 솔직히  개발도상국의 무역을 위해 돕는다는걸 생각해본적도 없다.

- 베껴쓰기를 많이 하다보니까.. 글이 좀 앞뒤 의미가 좀 연결성이 높아졋다. 한문장 한문장이 좀 명사를 많이 쓰기도 하고.. 근데 본론 2부터는 타자로 쓴거라.. 바로 펜으로 쓸때랑은 또 다를것이기에 걱정이 많이 된다.

- 이걸 일단 제출하고..  얼마 나오는지 보고 고쳐진거 보고 다시 다듬어 봐야될거 같다.
 물론 베껴써야것지..

- 손으로 바로 에세이쓰는 연습이 필요하다. 시험장에서는 타자를 치지 않으니까..