[IELTS WRITING 정복기] TASK2 - 인구과잉이 일으키는 문제원과 해결방안 - BAND 9 모델 에세이- 6

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems.
Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

Many countries of the world are currently experiencing problems caused by rapidly growing populations in urban areas, and both governments and individuals have a duty to find ways to overcome these problems.

Overpopulation can lead to overcrowding and poor quality housing in many large cities. Poorly heated or damp housing could cause significant health problems, resulting in illness, such as bronchitis or pneumonia. Another serious consequence of overcrowding is a rising crime rate as poor living conditions may lead young people in particular to take desperate measures and turn to crime or drugs.

In terms of solutions, I believe the government should be largely responsible. Firstly, it is vital that the state provides essential housing and healthcare for all its citizens. Secondly, setting up community projects to help foster more community spirit and help keep young people off the street is a good idea. For example, youth clubs or evening classes for teenagers would keep them occupied. Finally, more effective policing of inner city areas would also be beneficial.

Naturally, individuals should also act responsibly to address these problems, and the motivation to do this would hopefully arise if the measures described above are put into place by the government. This is because it will encourage people to have more pride in their own community and improve the situation.

Therefore, it is clear that the problems caused by overpopulation in urban areas are very serious. Yet if governments and individuals share a collective responsibility, then it may well become possible to offer some solutions. (254)

 

정말 이 모델에세이 깔끔하고 어렵지도 않고 잘 썻다..  10번정도 베껴쓰면 나도 좀 비슷하게 글을 쓰게 되지 않을까?  3개 단락으로 나눠서 첫번째는 인구과잉이 만들어내는 문제다루고 두번째는 해결방안 세번째는 문제에서 요구한 정부와개인이 함께 해결하는 방법데 대해서 다뤗다.

모델에세이 출처(The source of the model essary is )- http://englishwithyeasir.blogspot.co.uk/