[IELTS WIRITNG 정복기] BAND 9 모델 에세이 필사하기.. - 교육의 과목관련


Most of the schools are planning to replace sports and exercise classes with more academic sessions. What is your opinion on this change? How does this change will affect children’s life in your view?

 

The debate between where to allocate valuable teaching resources probably started with the first educational institutions. In present day society the conflict continues and rightly so. In my opinion converting sports classes to more traditional subjects has two significant advantages. Firstly it is a more effective use of a students time, secondly in the future, academic skills are more useful.

Switching time spent on sport in a school to time spent on more academic activities is a wise and cost effective solution. Firstly, academic studies are inherently less expensive to perform when compared to physical education. For example, to play almost any sport one has to invest in the appropriate equipment, ranging from shorts, t-shirts to rackets and balls. Furthermore excess time is spent in the changing rooms or washing afterwards. In more traditional subjects, students merely enter the classroom and are learning within minutes.

Secondly sport can be argued as an activity practised naturally by children, especially boys. In every school at break time many children engage in energetic activities, whereas hardly any are studying algebra, biology or physics. Because these subjects are less popular more resources should be allocated to teaching them. In addition, academic skills could be argued as more important due to the small amount of people in society currently using sport skills in a work environment. Thus focusing on skills demanded by the labour market would benefit students lives dramatically in the future.

 

To conclude, young learners going through school would finish much better prepared for life avoiding sport tuition. Furthermore they would have taken full advantage of their school years through more time spent learning. 
 
 
 
알츠 롸팅 8 나오는분 요기꺼로 필사 해봣다던데.. 역시 9 band 라 가끔 단어가 좀 생소하고 구조도 좀 생소 그렇다고 내가 고대로 못할거 같지도 않다..
학원서 주었던 모델 에세이는 좀... 이상하게 정도 안가고 해도 내것이란 생각이 별로 안들어서 다른분이 더 잘쓴걸 모방해야것다...
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
this essay source come from below -  band 9 model essay 출처는 아래 입니다.
 
 

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